WAG: Pick a Pocket

This week's WAG is "Pick a Pocket": Pick someone out of a crowd and describe what (you imagine) is in their pockets.

Every day at 7:30 am, there's a woman who waits at the bus-stop across the street. She's been there each week-day morning since I can remember -- for at least five years now. Stout with a serious mask on her fleshy face, I imagine her sensible denim pockets are stuffed full of practical bits and bobs for the day ahead as a cleaner of Kensington's posh mansions. A band to tie pack her shoulder-length no-nonsense bob; enough change for a packet of crisps for her morning snack. Her mobile makes the pocket bulge, so she transfers it to her jacket, its grey chunky casing so unlike the sleek phones of the City bankers waiting with her. She shoves it away quickly before they can see -- not that she cares what those poncy blokes think of her, anyway. She sighs and pulls out her bus-pass as the red monster lunges up the street towards her. Another day begins.

WAG: The Results!

The theme for the Writing Adventure Group 18 was “Invisible Object” Look around your workspace, favourite chair, back yard, etc. and notice the objects around you. Choose one that is so familiar that you no longer notice it, even though it’s right next to you. Describe it as though you’re seeing it for the first time and particularly any feelings you have about it, past or present. Would you miss it if it was gone?

And the participants:

How to Join the Writing Adventure Group
Peter Spalding
Melanie Trevelyan
Mickey Hoffman
Kate McIntire
JM Strother
Marsha Moore
Miss G
India Drummond

Next Week:
“WAG #19: Pick a Pocket”

Let’s do some stalking people-watching for this one! Pick someone out of a crowd and describe what (you imagine) is in their pockets (Unless you want to be brave and ask them!) Give us both meaning and physical details, and don’t forget to let yourself be surprised. (This week’s topic inspired by my son Bear.)

How to be added to the “results” post next week:
*Write whatever you like based on the theme suggested
*Post the results on your blog
*Email THE DIRECT LINK TO YOUR WAG POST (not just your blog) to India AT IndiaDrummond DOT com (or use the handy-dandy web form). This way I can link back to you in the next post! Please include the word WAG in your subject heading. Please include the title of the post (if any) and your name as you want it to appear on the listing. If you do not do this, I will use the name as it appears on your email.

To get more people involved, please use Twitter, FB status, myspace, your blog, etc to tell your writer friends about the group and talk about your own writing adventure!

All are welcome to join, so spread the word!

WAG! Invisible Object

The lovely India Drummond has resurrected the Writing Adventure Group! Anyone is welcome to get involved; just email India to participate (her email is below. Here are this week's instructions:

“WAG #18: Invisible Object” Look around your workspace, favourite chair, back yard, etc, and notice the objects around you. Choose one that is so familiar that you no longer notice it, even though it’s right next to you. Describe it as though you’re seeing it for the first time and particularly any feelings you have about it, past or present. Would you miss it if it was gone? No rules! Just write! Post the results on your blog.

After you post your results, email THE LINK TO YOUR POST (not just your blog) to India@IndiaDrummond.com This way I can link back to you in the next post! Please include the word WAG#18 in your subject heading so I don't miss it! (I get a lot of email) Please include the title of the blog/post (if any) and your name as you want it to appear on the listing. If you do not do this, I will use the name as it appears on your email.

And my 'Invisible Object':

Dusty and slumped, it sits under my desk like an abandoned dog. I can almost imagine it casting reproachful looks my way. How could you do this to me? You used to like me!

It's true. There was a time I loved the rough feel of the leather, the large stitches holding its patch-work together, the way the strap sat just so on my shoulder. I'd even brought it with me half-way around the world, from Europe to Canada and back again. But now... I gave it a kick as I stretched out my legs. Now, it was just one more annoying object stuffed underfoot.

Mind the Bowtie

I'm off to Paris today to see my brother-in-law defend his PhD at the Sorbonne... and to eat a lot, in the name of research. So over the next few days, I'll be posting some of my favourites from the past year or so.

This is a piece I wrote back in March for the Writing Adventure Group:


I sip my strong coffee as the unfamiliar sun caresses my head. No gloves, no coat - it feels like freedom after the gloominess of a London winter. Lionel Richie floats through the mild air from a nearby old-school ghetto blaster. The street is slowly stretching its Sunday morning arms. Ahhhhhhh...

'Am I annoying you?'

Hunh? My eyes fly open. At the next table, a middle-aged posh-looking man has settled into the chair next to a complete stranger.

'No, you're alright, mate,' the stranger says, engrossed in his newspaper.

'I smoked seven grams of cocaine and had six hookers last night,' says Posh Man, swaying slightly in his chair.

Stranger barely looks up. 'Sounds like a messy night,' he says in a typically understated British way.

Posh Man looks offended. 'No, not messy. Not messy at all. I'm just coming down. I smoked seven grams of cocaine and had six hookers last night,' he repeats, louder, in case any of us have missed it.

Stranger continues with his newpaper. Silence falls.

'I'm the best film maker on this street. Too bad my wife has left me. Man, she was hot.' He points to Stranger. 'Now, if she was with you, I'd be impressed. You're rich. Not as rich as me. I have a Rolex that used to be owned by Frank Sinatra. I'm the best film maker on this street.'

Stranger folds his paper now, giving up. 'No, no, I'm not rich.'

'You are!' Posh Man protests. 'You have a Patek Philippe watch.'

At this, I have to steal a glance at Stranger's watch. I have only heard about Patek Philippe in Vogue, and even I know they're worth thousands of pounds.

Stranger doesn't deny it. He puts his paper under his arm and gets up. Silence descends again, until another couple nab the table where Posh Man is sitting. Posh Man looks their way.

'I smoked seven grams of cocaine and had six hookers last night,' he says, delighted to have a new audience.

And it goes on. The Man and I get up to leave, stifling our laughter.

'He's a nutter!' The Man says.

'But he looked so posh...'

'He's wearing a bow-tie,' The Man responds assuredly. 'The mad ones always wear bow-ties.'

WAG: The Results

WAG #16 Results and WAG #17 instructions below. All are welcome to join next week’s adventure!

The theme for the Writing Adventure Group 16 was “True Love” Go people watching and select a couple. Write about the “secret” part of their relationship… the things about this couple that they don’t show to the world.

The Writing Adventure Group is on Facebook. Join us there too, and get weekly reminders so you never miss an adventure.

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How to Join the Writing Adventure Group
Gail Stekler (New to WAG!)
Dan Powell
Frances Wookey
Mickey Hoffman
Christine Kirchoff
Paige Bruce
Marsha

Next Week:

“WAG #17: The One That Got Away”
From your own point of view (or the point of view of a stranger you observe) write a short scene about someone from the past who comes into the picture back suddenly. It can be an old boyfriend/girlfriend, a childhood friend, or anyone you haven’t seen for many years. It can be a sweet reunion, or a total disaster! It’s up to you.

Deadline: next Tuesday, June 30th.

WAG: What Lies Beneath

I've been bad, bad, bad at doing the writing adventure group's exercises lately. But hopefully, I shall redeem myself with this attempt. This week the assigment is to select a couple. Write about the “secret” part of their relationship… the things about this couple that they don’t show to the world.

This week, I was inspired by this article in the oh-so-reputable Sun newspaper. Honestly, I don't know if they try to be entertaining, but they certainly succeed.

So here goes.

-----

'Honey, did you get it?' He lowers his voice and leans towards her.

Her eyes dart around the room. She nods. 'It's in the back garden. I gave it some lettuce. Isn't that what they eat?'

Her husband shrugs. 'I dunno. It won't be around be around for long, anyway. I've got the BBQ fired up. Jim and the boys are coming round at nine. It's gonna be one hell of a feast!'

She digs in her purse and holds out a paper. 'Here's the receipt. We can return it in fourteen days if we're not happy.'

'Honey, it ain't gonna be around for fourteen days, innit? We're 'aving it tonight!' He scans the paper. 'Hang on a second. Hang on! What the hell is this?' His finger stabs the paper.

She leans over. 'What? Yeah, I dunno, I just signed where I needed to. I didn't actually read it.'

His face is red. 'WHAT DO YOU MEAN, WE CAN'T EAT THE HORSE?'

Silence.

Finally, he says: 'We'll do it in secret. We'll roast it in the oven. I don't care how we do it, we're eating that horse.'

WAG: The Results

WAG #14 Results and WAG #15 instructions below. All are welcome to join next week’s adventure!

The theme for the Writing Adventure Group #14: Do Overs”. Think of a time where you’d like to change what happened - whether it’s to get that witty retort in or to say something you never got the chance to say. Write how it should have been and compare it to the reality.

The Writing Adventure Group is on Facebook. Join us there too, and get weekly reminders so you never miss an adventure.

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How to Join the Writing Adventure Group
Nancy Parra
Nixy Valentine
Dan Powell
Frances Wookey
Paige Bruce
J.M. Strother - Mad Utopia
Peter Spalton
Christine Kirchoff
Brenda M
Marsha
Mickey Hoffman

“WAG #15: Best Tool For The Job”

Thanks to Paige for the topic idea! Paige’s idea was to have the topic this week be about writing tools such as a keyboard or favourite pen, but I’d like to expand this to be any type of tool, whether it’s a gardening tool or a jackhammer or a toenail clipper. Describe a favourite tool in concrete terms, but also show how you (or whomever it belongs to) feel about using it, and how it leaves an individual or particular mark on the end product.

Post the results on your blog, and read this post about the group for information on how to notify me so your post will be properly included in next week’s list. (Note, please include WAG #15 in the subject heading and tell me how you want your name to appear! If you do not, I will use the name as it appears on your email.)

Deadline: next Tuesday, June 9th.

The Way Things Weren't

This week's WAG is to write about an event in reality, then change it to what you would have liked it to have been (yes, I'm aware that is a very awkward sentence construction). I must apologise to the other WAGers; I have been very lazy about commenting on their posts and will try to do a better job in the future!

Last year, I worked part-time in a luxury spa to earn some cash while starting out on my writing journey. The job showed me a lot about the inner sanctum of the very wealthy (and vain), who stunned me with the level of patronisation they could reach. I was called 'dear' with a sneering tone; told to 'shut up', asked if I could spell the surname 'White'... and on, and on. Having been trained in the service industry of North America, where the customer is always right, I also endeavoured to kill them with kindness. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't -- people used to getting their way aren't generally that impressed with smiles instead of compliance.

But just once, I would have loved to have stared them right in their beady, Botoxed little eyes and given it to them straight: Listen, lady (or man - sometimes they were the worst!), I don't care how rich you are or how important you may be. You're hideous, you behave worse than a three year old, no-one likes you and no matter how much cosmetic surgery you have, you'll never be beautiful! Or happy! SO THERE!

Oh, to be so ballsy.

WAG: Memory Lane

This week's writing assignment is to describe something from memory. It's going to be short, as my mind is operating under a considerable layer of fog these days!

----
Her hard, puffy cheeks are frozen into a permanent smile. I try to comb her hair, but the yarn-like strands are too thick to even pass through the comb. My heart sinks in disappointment -- hair-styling is one of the things I'd been looking forward to most. Her body is soft, pliable; stumpy arms and legs jammed into a pinafore. She smells like a foreign combination of plastic and baby powder. I sit her down on the bed with the rest of my stuffed animals for company. Ten pairs of blank black eyes follow me around the room, and I flee to the safety of humans.

WAG: The Results

The theme for the Writing Adventure Group #11 was “Scaredy-Cat” Choose a stranger and observe him/her for a little while. Now give them a phobia. A full-on, jump on the chair, scream like a little girl, unreasonable fear.

And the results are...

How to Join the Writing Adventure Group
Dan Powell (New WAG Member!)
Alexia Brown (New WAG Member!)
Nancy Parra
Peter Spalton
Frances Wookey (New WAG Member!)
Christine Kirchoff
Nixy Valentine
Sharon Donovan
Melanie Trevelyan (New WAG Member!)
Iain Martin
J. M. Strother - Mad Utopia
Marsha
Carol

Next week’s Writing Adventure:
“WAG #12: Memory Lane” Thanks to Lulu for the topic idea! For this week, describe something by memory. It can be a place, a person, whatever you like. Include as much detail as you can as well as your impressions. If possible, then go and see this thing, and also describe how your memory of it was different from the current reality. What had you left out? It also might be interesting to include how your memory of it is different from someone else’s! No limits on this one! No rules to break!

Post the results on your blog, and read this post about the group for information on how to notify me so your post will be properly included in next week’s list. Deadline: next Tuesday, May 19th.

WAG: Be Afraid. Be Very Afraid

This week's assignment was to pick a stranger and assign them a phobia. Over the course of my regular Monday-night journey to my writing group, I encounter many souls to which I could easily assign one phobia or another. But one particular individual stands out.

My writer's group is in Marylebone, central London. For me, this necessitates the Tube to Baker Street, then a 10-minute walk down one of my most hated streets in London: Marylebone Road. I hate, hate, hate Marylebone Road. The wide lanes of speeding traffic, the few and far between crossings where you only have about five seconds to scuttle across the road, the dreaded tourist-swamped Madame Tussaud's... all conspire to make this one of most unpleasant locations in London.

Last night was one of the windiest nights I can remember, making the walk even more hideous. I picked up my pace, practically running down the road. I noticed a man lumbering down the sidewalk ahead of me. He jerked to the right, then the left, then back to the right again, as if he was dodging invisible bullets. I looked behind me. Nothing there. Was he crazy, or was I? Was there something for which I, too, should be pulling evasive maneuvers?

I rubbed my eye, trying to dislodge an errant piece of pollen the wind had smacked into me. Then, I looked up. With every gust, pollen streamed from the leaves above, hurtling through the air like miniature bombs. I looked back to Zig-Zag Man, still cavorting in front of me. With all the grace of an elephantine ballet dancer, he was trying to shield his body from the raining pollen. Nose streaming, eyes running -- for him, pollen was the enemy, representing long nights in the no-man's land of the sofa so his other half could sleep, the constant invasion of the cough into his throat. He would not give in to its insidious ways; he would fight against it at all costs.

Sadly, though, resistance was futile. He was felled by a sneeze, and with an anguished snort he succumbed.

Wag #9: The Results

The theme for the Writing Adventure Group #9 was “Warning!”

And here are the results.

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How to Join the Writing Adventure Group
Pallavi Agarwal (On Facebook)
Iain Martin
Peter Spalton
Nancy Parra
Nixy Valentine
Christine Segina (New WAG Member!)
Gunnar Helliesen
J. M. Strother - Mad Utopia
Christine Kirchoff
Sharon Donovan
Marsha

Next week’s Writing Adventure:

“WAG #10: The Professional” As we go through our days, we’re surrounded by people doing everyday jobs: the guy that reads the gas meter, cashiers, bank tellers, security guards, doctors, circus clowns… This week, your assignment is to observe someone doing a job (their profession should be one you don’t know that much about). Describe him/her and also what they’re doing, why they’re doing it (as best you can tell), and how. Feel free to use your imagination, but don’t forget the concrete observation! Special thanks to Lulu for this week’s topic idea!

Post the results on your blog, and read this post about the group for information on how to notify me so your post will be properly included in next week’s list. (Note, please include WAG #10 in the subject heading and tell me how you want your name to appear please!) Deadline: next Tuesday, May 5th.

WAG #9: Banoffee Pie Horror!

The assignment:

Choose an unfamiliar object (in other words, one you have no history with) that strikes you as beautiful, appealing, or somehow desirable etc… some ideas might be: a child, a sunset, an attractive shop window, a scenic view, a piece of art, an appetising meal in a restaurant… and write about it in such as way as to make it unappealing or even disgusting, frightening or repulsive to your reader.

My attempt:

It sits on the table, mocking me with its very presence. Squidgy bananas, soggy loaf and stringy, finger-sticking toffee -- who was the sicko that came up with that laughable combination? Its roundness is comically perfect, like a drop of goo flung onto a surface, thick enough to hold its ground. The cardboard-coloured cream icing, sitting rancidly atop, jealously guards its spoiled treasure.

Never have I detested banoffee pie more.

WAG #8: The Results

WAG #8 Results and WAG #9 instructions below. All are welcome to join next week’s adventure!

The theme for the Writing Adventure Group #8 was “Rose Colored Glasses“.

The results:

How to Join the Writing Adventure Group
Cora Zane
Nancy Parra
Peter Spalton
Christine Kirchoff
Gunnar Helliesen
Pallavi Agarwal (On Facebook)
DMW Carol
Marsha
Iain Martin
Lulu
Melanie Trevelyan

Next week’s Writing Adventure:

“WAG #9: Warning!” Last week the topic was to make something ugly sound beautiful, so this time let’s do the opposite! Choose an unfamiliar object (in other words, one you have no history with) that strikes you as beautiful, appealing, or somehow desirable etc… some ideas might be: a child, a sunset, an attractive shop window, a scenic view, a piece of art, an appetising meal in a restaurant… and write about it in such as way as to make it unappealing or even disgusting, frightening or repulsive to your reader. If you did last week’s topic as well (Rose Colored Glasses) I’d be very interested to know which of these was harder for you!

Post the results on your blog, and read this post about the group for information on how to notify me so your post will be properly included in next week’s list. (Note, please include WAG #8 in the subject heading and tell me how you want your name to appear please!) Deadline: next Tuesday, April 28th.

WAG #8: Rose-Coloured Glasses

The assignment:

Go out and choose an unfamiliar object (in other words, one you have no history with) that strikes you as ugly, repulsive, annoying, etc… some ideas might be: a wad of squashed gum on the pavement, a dead squirrel on the side of the road, an ugly sign, a loud construction site, a tacky sculpture in a charity shop… and write about it in such as way as to make it appealing to your reader. Really sell it! Use whatever words you want and cheat as much as you want, but do your best!

Hm. I'm sitting here, struggling to think of something. Double hm. Triple hm. (Don't worry, I'm not going to go on in this vein for too long.) Well, I'm going to resort to something I saw last night on the Tube. You can always count on the London Underground for something repulsive.


The aromatic fumes grab my nostrils and turn my head. A succulent bit of roasted beef pokes out of a brightly coloured carton. Kermit-green lettuce clings artistically to its side and little bits of meat-mess adorn the bun. Oh, the perfectly toasted, golden bun. Sure, it's half gone but that just makes it that much more valuable.

My belly grumbles in response. Um, um... Burger King.


Right, I just need to make it clear that I DID NOT eat this. Yuck-o.

WAG #6: The Results

The theme for the Writing Adventure Group #6 was “Overheard”.

Don’t forget! The Writing Adventure Group is on Facebook. Join us there too, and get weekly reminders so you never miss an adventure.

And the results are...

How to Join the Writing Adventure Group
Cora Zane
Adam Heine
Christine Kirchoff
Nancy J Parra
Mickey Hoffman
Sharon Donovan
Iain Martin
Criss
Lulu
Jon Strother
Marsha
Carol

Next week’s Writing Adventure:

WAG #6: Imaginings. This one is people-watching with a twist. Observe a stranger and sketch a brief background for them, including a secret. Then describe why they are in that particular place at that particular time (where you ran into them) and how it will affect their future. Feel free to be creative, but don’t forget to describe the concrete reality that made you pick them in the first place! (Thank you to Christine Kirchoff for this week’s WAG topic!)

Post the results on your blog, and read this post about the group for information on how to notify me so your post will be properly included in next week’s list. (Note, please include WAG #7 in the subject heading and tell me how you want your name to appear please!)

Deadline: next Tuesday, April 14th.

WAG #6: Overheard

In all the excitement of last night's UFO, I forgot (gasp) to do my WAG! This week's assignment was to write about a conversation you overheard.

The following conversation takes place between a young couple, standing on top of the Pillow Mound and staring up at White Horse Hill. They have strong Essex accents (think Vicki Pollard but from Essex) and disgruntled expressions.

Man (shielding his eyes): Is that it?

Woman: That bloody well better not be it.

Man: We've been had. That's not a horse. That's a bleeding squiggle.

Woman: What the F$&^? It looks like a McDonald's logo.

Man: Stupid Iron Age.

Woman: Maybe they had different horses back then?

Man casts Woman a withering look and they toddle down the Mound.

Man (half-way down the Mound): I wonder if they had beer?

WAG #5: The Results

The theme for the Writing Adventure Group #5 was “Life in Motion”.

Don’t forget! The Writing Adventure Group is on Facebook. Join us there too, and get weekly reminders so you never miss an adventure.

How to Join the Writing Adventure Group
Cora Zane
Iain Martin
Christine Kirchoff
Nancy J Parra
Sharon Donovan
Nixy Valentine
Lulu
Jon Strother
Marsha Moore

Next week’s Writing Adventure:
“WAG #6: Overheard” Another people-watching exercise this week! This time, let’s listen! Choose a stranger and do your best to overhear what they say, and then write it down. It can be on the phone, to someone else, or even them talking to themselves. What does their voice, word choice, or tone tell you about them? Feel free to write their exact words OR write it as you would for fictional dialogue.

Post the results on your blog, and read this post about the group for information on how to notify me so your post will be properly included in next week’s list. (Note, please include WAG #6 in the subject heading and tell me how you want your name to appear please!)

Deadline: next Tuesday, April 7th.

WAG #5: Life in Motion

The assignment:
Sometimes it’s good to approach writing like taking a photograph with words. On the other hand, it’s important to remember that a scene is always in transition. For this week’s adventure, sit in a good observation spot and notice how the scene in front of you changes from one minute to the next. Has the light changed? The sounds? The people? What’s different now compared to when you first arrived? Is there anything you can see (or hear, smell, etc) that is changing right in front of you? Be creative and break the rules! This week is all about change!

My attempt:

For once, the street is empty. No cars, no buses -- no people, even. Is the whole city sleeping? Have Londoners succumbed to smog sickness? The eerie emptiness makes me uneasy.

I stare. Nothing moves. Even the clouds are fixed in the grey sky. The leaves are immobile, hanging limply in the heavy air.

A gust of wind. A plastic bag takes flight. It wheels and dances in a bird-like parody before crashing to the pavement.

The street regains its cement-fixed stillness.

WAG 4: The Results

Thanks to everyone for the birthday wishes yesterday (yes, I take every opportunity I can to remind people of my birthday !). I'm feeling a bit fragile this morning after the celebrations, so without further ado, here is a round-up of this week's Writing Adventure Group:

This week’s theme was “Do You Hear What I Hear?”.

Don’t forget! The Writing Adventure Group is on Facebook. Join us there too, and get weekly reminders so you never miss an adventure.

How to Join the Writing Adventure Group
Cora Zane
Christine Kirchoff
Sharon Donovan
Iain Martin
Mickey Hoffman
Lulu
Marsha Writes
Jesse Blair
Carol
Aunt Sally
Nancy Parra
Jon Strother

Next week’s Writing Adventure:

WAG #5: Life In Motion
Sometimes it’s good to approach writing like taking a photograph with words. On the other hand, it’s important to remember that a scene is always in transition. For this week’s adventure, sit in a good observation spot and notice how the scene in front of you changes from one minute to the next. Has the light changed? The sounds? The people? What’s different now compared to when you first arrived? Is there anything you can see (or hear, smell, etc) that is changing right in front of you? Be creative and break the rules! This week is all about change!

Deadline: next Tuesday, March 31st.

A big thank you (and a giant donut with extra sprinkles) to the Lovely Nixy Valentine for organising the group.