Wednesday, June 3, 2009

The Way Things Weren't

This week's WAG is to write about an event in reality, then change it to what you would have liked it to have been (yes, I'm aware that is a very awkward sentence construction). I must apologise to the other WAGers; I have been very lazy about commenting on their posts and will try to do a better job in the future!

Last year, I worked part-time in a luxury spa to earn some cash while starting out on my writing journey. The job showed me a lot about the inner sanctum of the very wealthy (and vain), who stunned me with the level of patronisation they could reach. I was called 'dear' with a sneering tone; told to 'shut up', asked if I could spell the surname 'White'... and on, and on. Having been trained in the service industry of North America, where the customer is always right, I also endeavoured to kill them with kindness. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't -- people used to getting their way aren't generally that impressed with smiles instead of compliance.

But just once, I would have loved to have stared them right in their beady, Botoxed little eyes and given it to them straight: Listen, lady (or man - sometimes they were the worst!), I don't care how rich you are or how important you may be. You're hideous, you behave worse than a three year old, no-one likes you and no matter how much cosmetic surgery you have, you'll never be beautiful! Or happy! SO THERE!

Oh, to be so ballsy.


Nancy J. Parra said...

Your post made me smile-and wonder if you could have said just that and what would have happened? Would they answer with, "Well, I never!" :)

Would you have lost your job or would your boss have spoken to you in public and quietly cheered you in private...
hmmm, inquiring minds want to know. ;)

Anita Davison said...

I can't claim credit for this - but wish I could have! I was waiting in a spa for a nail infil once [yeah OK I used to wear acrylic nails - we all go through it] A woman came in who looked like Peggy Mitchell's uglier sister.About early fifties in leopard print, cheap blonde extensions and pores the size of volcanos. She proceeded to be scathing and insulting to the poor receptionist in an over loud voice about parking her damned car, the girl was almost crying.
The the senior therapist came out, assessed the situation in a glance, looked the woman in the eyes and said. 'If you present your pension book Mrs XXXXXX, we'll give you a 25% discount'
The scream could have been heard two streets away, and by the colour of her face I swear I thought the woman was having a heart attack - and all the time this girl just kept smiling.

It was priceless

Mickey said...

Too bad you didn't strike back. Those people should be issued cards when they leave with little statements that they deserve to hear. I nearly got fired once for arguing with a wealthy woman in a supermarket who accused me of handling her package of ground beef so roughly that I bruised it! The manager called me in and was laughing in spite of himself but he still almost fired me. Best you just held your tongue. We can get revenge later, like you just did.

Brenda said...

The service industry is the hardest ever… I work as a consultant and I frequently want to drop a brick on the head’s of my clients. It does make you wonder why a person, any person would think they had the right to treat someone any differently than the way they wanted to be treated… Kills me sometimes

Brenda M (wag)

dan powell said...

This post made me think of the original Clerks movie. Every retail/service industry space needs a Randall to say the things that others can't.

I can sympathise from the days I worked in a video store and had to deal with charging folks late fees on their rentals. There fault though you wouldn't know it from the way they would argue. Made me feel like stamping their foreheads with the return date of their next rental.

Frances said...

I really enjoyed this! I've worked in shops at different times, and know just what you mean. But you wouldn't BELIEVE the things that vicars would like to say to people sometimes!! Thank you, this has really made me smile.