Surviving a Conference!

Happy Bastille Day! 24 Hours Paris was just named a hot July read by Girls' Guide to Paris, so I'm having my own little celebration! If you're on Twitter, tweet me any time before 9 pm GMT today to be entered in a draw to win a copy of 24 Hours Paris.

As you know from my previous post, I've just returned from the wonderful Romantic Novelists' Association Conference. It was my first writing conference and I thought I'd share a few tips for survival!

1. Don't wear high heels. Seriously. I attempted to do so on the first day and I paid the price, big time. It was the hottest day of the year, my feet were swollen, and several lovely little blisters quickly sprouted. Just... don't.

2. Take Nurofen, just in case. The first day of the conference (and the second, but that was due to, ahem, too much champagne) I had a brutal headache. Honestly, if I didn't have my trusty Nurofen, I'm sure my head would have exploded.

3. When there's food, eat it! Due to nerves and the heat, I wasn't really that hungry during the day which meant by around 4 pm, I was almost ready to fall over! While eating usually isn't a problem for me, I would have been able to concentrate better if I'd chowed down when I could.

4. Don't be afraid to introduce yourself to people. I'm usually the sort who slips off into the corners when faced with a large group of people I don't know -- particularly if that involves big-name authors, editors and agents. But if you're friendly and don't interrupt them mid-conversation then they're usually very open and friendly themselves!

5. Take business cards/ promotional postcards, etc. I had some postcards done up for The Hating Game just in time for the conference, and I'm glad I did. It was great to be able to hand people something so hopefully they'll remember me when the book comes out.

All in all, it was a fantastic conference and I'm so glad I went. Next time: no high heels, lots of chowing down, and boatloads of Nurofen!

The Class System and... Books!

Ah yes. The Great British Class System has now been extended to books! At the top of the heap: poets. At the bottom: crime authors.

And my question is this: where is romance? Where is women's fiction?

Apparently they're so far off the radar, they don't even deserve a mention.

What's Going On

Spring is in the air here in London and my mind is busy buzzing, so I thought I'd give a little update on what I've been working on lately.

24 Hours Paris is due out in May (you can pre-order on Amazon... sorry, had to put that in!). I'm now working on finishing touches, final edits and filling in lay-out gaps here and there. It's always exciting when you get a proof of how your work will look in book-form!

I've also been busy researching material for 24 Hours Sydney, which we plan to release in e-book and iPhone format, so keep your eyes out for that!

And 24 Hours London continues to roll along, too: Babes About Town recently gave the book a really lovely review. Thanks again to everyone who's helped out and supported that project along the way!

And on the fiction front, I'm happy to report that things are moving forward! I'm still managing to get in my daily word count despite the non-fiction work. Good things are a-comin' and I'll update soon.

Happy Spring (not official yet, I know, but I'm in the spirit!). Here's to a productive season.

Don't Catch the Bug!

Thanks, everyone, for sharing your writing book recommendations!

Still on the theme of improving your writing craft (for those who hang out here for London-based stuff, there's a post coming up soon -- promise!), I came across this today on Lynn Viehl's Paperback Writer blog. It made me laugh several times (in recognition of things I'd done), so I thought I'd share it!


Ten Things You Might Catch from Other Writers' Books

Dragonorrhea: the prevalence of countless, beautifully colored, magically-endowed, bejewel-eyed dragons in a story when said dragons are not logical to the world-building, have no lives, apparently have nothing better to do than suck up to puny mortals, and (no matter how enormous or powerful they are) usually behave like fanged, flying, fire-breathing bunnies.

Good Girlitis: A serious and often grotesque inflammation of the heroine's moral pulchritude, which results in her utter inability to acquire flaws, make bad decisions or otherwise mess up like the rest of the ordinary mortals on the planet.

InfoMumps: Swollen, boring and largely unattractive monologues offered by dull characters who seem to serve no other purpose except to be on hand to confirm what Bob already knows.

HEAlzheimers: no matter how emotionally screwed up one or more main characters were during the first nineteen chapters of the novel, in the twentieth they forget all their troubles, commit to a serious relationship for which they were always incapable of trying much less sustaining in the past, and otherwise present a permanently welded-on mask of unnatural, lobotomized bliss.

Projectile Dysfunction: the unreasonable, unrealistic but steadily persistent eruption of guns, knives, swords and other phallic symbols wielded by the hero to underscore or serve as visual substitute for his masculinity, heterosexuality, virility, or any other manly man attribute.

Pseudo-BadBoydom: a surface condition which presents the hero as a nasty dirty lowdown mean leather-wearing foul-mouthed ingrate who should be publicly flogged for his innumerable sins and yet mysteriously and instantly vanishes whenever the heroine confesses her love, self-doubts, troubles or any situation in which a real bad boy would actually come in rather handy.

For more, click here.

My Favourite Books on Writing

Thanks for some wonderful, thought-provoking comments on my previous post. Theresa asked if I had any book suggestions. Great question, since I do have a few!


Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott is a wonderful, easy-to-read and entertaining book on writing. Full of great life advice, too.













On Writing by Stephen King has practical tips -- such as axing those pesky adverbs -- and also discusses the writing techniques that work best for him.












How to Write a Damn Good Novel by James Frey: Terrible title, but if you can get past that it has very good tips on conflict and 'raising the stakes'.

Wanna Be a Writer? by Jane Wenham Jones was one of the first books I bought when I started out on the writing journey. Funny and irreverent.

Any other favourites out there?

Can Writing Be Taught?

Over the past few years, I've read quite a few books on writing -- all of which I have found helpful. But in the back of my mind, I've wondered: can someone learn to become a writer? Or is it something that's innate inside you?

I've gone back and forth on this. I believe writing is a craft, and like any craft you can hone your skills and uncover more about its nuances. But there's also a lot of creativity irequire to develop stories and character, and I'm not sure that's something you can learn.

What do you think? Can writing be taught?

What Do You *Do* All Day?

Sometimes, when people ask me if I have a 'day job' and I answer no, I can see the unspoken question floating in their head: how does someone who works from home -- as a 'writer', no less -- fill the hours, day after day, on their own?

Truth be told, it was something I struggled with when I first quit my daily slog of a corporate job. I still had a part-time job -- the thought of not going out into the world to do something was too scary at that stage -- but the hours would sometimes stretch out before me like a desert to be crossed. I'd sit at my desk in the morning, with no colleagues to chat with, no coffee to make, and no emails to ignore, and stare at the blank screen. With only me to motivate myself, work became harder than ever.

Now, two years later and more than a year since I stopped 'working' altogether, I often wonder where the day has gone. While in the beginning I often found it very hard to concentrate, now I can sit and write for much longer periods of time without heading to the kitchen to snack -- or, heaven forbid, checking my Twitter. I'm more productive and while I still have my 'off' days, the hours are no longer as scary. They pass by even faster than when I was in the office, and they're infinitely more enjoyable.

It's taken two years, but I think I've finally trained myself to sit in a chair and write. Sounds easy but it's one of the most difficult things I think I've ever done!

All About Me (and the Green-Eyed Monster)

I admit it. I get jealous when I hear other writers have struck publishing deals, that their debut novels are gracing the bestseller lists, that they managed to get the killer agent I've been coveting. Yes, I get very, very jealous.

I'm happy for them, of course. It's confirmation that with a good novel, anything is possible. But inside my head, a little voice is bleating: why can't that be meeeeee?

Rationally, I know there are zillions of reasons why it isn't me. I haven't written the right novel yet; my story-crafting needs work. I do think that one day I will get my fiction published -- hopefully sooner rather than later. But that doesn't stop the monster gnawing away inside of me.

It's times like this that I think back to my days as a competitive sprinter. I used to run the 100m and 200m, and I could -- and would -- obsess for hours about 'being the best'. Once I was the best, I'd worry about who was up-and-coming, who might knock me off my number one position. And that was when my coach would remind me that worrying about other people is a waste of time. We can't control the actions of others. But we can control ourselves.

All I can do is write the best that I can, and let the chips fall where they may!

How to Write Well Badly

Thanks to all those who offered their best wishes on my citizenship application! Fingers crossed. I'll hold a 'I'm British!' blog party when (if!) the application gets approved.

If you're a writer, chances are you've fallen into one of the many traps satirised on Joel Stickley's comical website How to Write Well Badly. It's part of my daily read and often makes me aware of things I'm on the verge of doing (although hopefully not to the extent he goes to!).

Today he posted a doozy: 'Write with a Half-Eye on the Market'. Here's an excerpt:

The Darknight Academy for witches, wizards, troubled vampires and tragically abused children was just waking up when the screaming started. Secret Agent Sam Glowingly sprang athletically from his bed and immediately reached for his pistol. He had been undercover for three weeks now and this was the first sign of trouble, unless you counted the theft of the Holy Grail the previous week, which he didn’t.

‘McSleet. Wake up,’ he hissed. His grizzled, cynical, alcoholic yet oddly sympathetic Scottish colleague mumbled an unintelligible curse at him and went back to sleep. Fine, thought Glowingly. He would just have to tackle this one alone, with only his gun and his mysterious otherworldly powers to help him.

Click here for the rest.

Thank you, Joel, for a daily laugh!

Lost and Found

I love the random objects that appear from nowhere on London streets. The beat-up chairs, the odd Christmas tree right up until March... and this chandelier, which I came across on Saturday just as I was exiting Carmel Court.

I love this little-known passageway in my neighbourhood and I always take every opportunity to use it. You head between two high houses rising up on either side of the narrow walkway and enter a tunnel for about 20 metres or so, before coming out right in front of the Carmelite church. While at night you could easily conjure up Jack the Ripper creeping behind you in the dark, during the day I love ducking into the secret nook.

As I walked away from chandelier (if one can call it a chandelier), I wondered what its story was and who had placed it there. Had it come from the church, staggered across the street after giving its confession and lay there to die? Was it cast off in favour of a swanky new glittery light?

Or had it made a break for freedom, tired of lighting interiors and desperate for the natural light of day?

Problem Words

I think I'm a pretty good speller. Spelling tests were always something I actually enjoyed (yes, I was that kind of student. In English, anyway). Working as both an editor and an English teacher, accurate spelling and grammar is something I take pride in -- although I admit the results may not always be evident in blog posts as I don't edit them nearly as carefully as I should.

Why, then, are there words that always cause me problems? No matter how many times I look them up, I can never seem to remember how to spell them. Is it a mind block? Some wonky neuron firing in my brain? What is it about certain combinations of letters that eludes me?

And the troublesome words are, in no particular order (excuse me while I go look them up):

• Consistent: I always want to spelling this -ant for some reason
• Plumber: because that 'b' just doesn't look right!
• Independence: Along the way, I remember someone telling me that the ending is 'dance' and it stuck in my mind. Now I am scarred for life.

There are more but they're playing hard to get right now. I'll add to the list as I remember.

Does this happen to anyone else?

The Plot Thickens

Over the past few days, I've been busily sketching out an outline for a new novel idea. (Yes, I'm still revising Novel Number 4, but as my head was about to explode from trying to corral it into order, I needed a break.) What I'm discovering is that I really, really like to make things complicated - even when I don't need to!

I've tried a lot of things with plotting and structuring, but I confess it's not something I ever got the hang of (of which I got the hang? hmm). From just writing to plotting all the focal points, turning points ad nauseum, I still hadn't found my way. I'm not sure that I have quite yet, but I'm trying a new pared-down approach which should make things easier for people like me who like to make things more complex than they should be. It goes something like this (courtesy of Mary Naylus, YA author):

Once you have your concept and your one-line pitch, get a piece of paper. Mark out Turning Point 1, Turning Point 2, Climax and Resolution for your main character. Do the same for your subplots. Then fill in the events and join up the subplots. In this way, you can make sure everything stays on track.

Sounds simple, right?

I'd love to hear how other people plot and structure their novels! Please, do tell...

My Favourite Bits

I meant to post this yesterday, but... I forgot! I recently did an interview with Ola Fagbohun of the Diverse Traveller website. Click here to read what I had to say about life, travel and my favourite London bits.

(And watch out for the giant photo...)

Getting Published - Seminar by Juliet Pickering of A P Watt

Sometimes I feel really lucky to live in London. Like when I cross Waterloo Bridge, with the dome of St Paul's Cathedral and the Gherkin in one direction and the pods of the London Eye rising in the other. Or when I run in Kensington Gardens, passing by Kensington Palace on my daily route. And, of course, when I hear there's a seminar being run by an agent from the oldest agency in the world -- and it's being held in my local library, a mere five-minute walk down the road. Even better, when I get there, they're serving wine. For free!

Well. Could it really get any better? Only if Juliet Pickering, the A P Watt agent running the seminar, reached down, plucked me up, and offered me a multi-million pound publishing contract. With the chances of that unlikely, I'd settle for listening to her views on publishing (whilst gulping - ahem, sipping - the wine, of course).

Some interesting points:

* It's better to approach in hard copy than email (for her, anyway), as email is easily dismissed.
* As more editors are taking on more and more work (due to cuts etc), agents are increasingly acting as editors
* Agents in the UK typically take 15% commission
* Advances are usually split in three instalments: first instalment after the contract signed; second instalment upon delivery of MS; third instalment upon publication
* Ultimately, promotion is the publisher's responsibility, not the agent's
* Book launches happening less frequently now due to economic conditions
* Royalties generally paid twice a year
* If your book sold averagely, you can expect to see a return on sales within 12 to 18 months (must earn out your advance first)
* Most books are not published in hardback anymore: published first in trade paperback then paperback
* Publishing is changing rapidly due to eBooks - uncertainty as to how publishers are dealing with electronic rights

Apart from a man claiming Isaac Newton decoded the Bible (or something along those lines), the session was informative and interesting. While most of the material wasn't news to me, it was good to get it straight from the source.

And did I mention there was free wine?

'So what do you do?'

Still in Paris, scoffing down pain au chocolat at the speed of light! It's a tough job...

Here's a post from about a year ago. I still hate this question!


I dread when people ask me what I do for a living. It's everyone's favourite cocktail party question, enabling the 'asker' to correctly place the 'askee' into the pigeon-hole of choice.

I used to answer with no problem. 'I'm a teacher,' I'd say, kicking off a whole debate about the dangers of teaching in UK secondary schools. It was a guaranteed conversation-starter. Now, though, it's a different scenario.

'I'm a writer,' I mumble, always feeling fraudulent. Hey, I've written three novels, I say to myself to prop up my self-esteem. But the next question always brings me back to reality.

'Oh!' The 'asker' perks up, looking at me with renewed interest. 'What have you published? Anything I might have read?'

'Nope and I've been rejected by about twenty agents and counting.' I always give it to them in one go, then take a sip of the (alcoholic) drink in my hand to allow them time to formulate their response.

It can go either one of two ways:

1. The sympathic/ patronising response. 'Oh, don't worry, it'll happen. Just keep trying. It's so great you're going for your dream!' All of this will be accompanied by a pitying look in the eye that reads: Poor, naive dreamer. You'll be sitting on your arse in ten years time still slogging away.

Maybe I will. But at least I'll be enjoying it!

2. The 'I write, too!' response. I never realised so many people want to write a novel of their own. It's like confessing my own writing ambitions has opened the floodgates. It's nice to hear that my postman wants to write a book. But I have to admit, I cringe at being put into the 'general public' basket of writers. Is that wrong? After all, I'm not published either. But I am serious about my writing, unlike those who consider composing a text message taxing but still want to write a book.

I don't know how long it will take before I can proudly say 'I'm a writer.' Hopefully sooner rather than later. Until then, I'll continue to dread the deadly 'What do you do?' question.

Mind the Bowtie

I'm off to Paris today to see my brother-in-law defend his PhD at the Sorbonne... and to eat a lot, in the name of research. So over the next few days, I'll be posting some of my favourites from the past year or so.

This is a piece I wrote back in March for the Writing Adventure Group:


I sip my strong coffee as the unfamiliar sun caresses my head. No gloves, no coat - it feels like freedom after the gloominess of a London winter. Lionel Richie floats through the mild air from a nearby old-school ghetto blaster. The street is slowly stretching its Sunday morning arms. Ahhhhhhh...

'Am I annoying you?'

Hunh? My eyes fly open. At the next table, a middle-aged posh-looking man has settled into the chair next to a complete stranger.

'No, you're alright, mate,' the stranger says, engrossed in his newspaper.

'I smoked seven grams of cocaine and had six hookers last night,' says Posh Man, swaying slightly in his chair.

Stranger barely looks up. 'Sounds like a messy night,' he says in a typically understated British way.

Posh Man looks offended. 'No, not messy. Not messy at all. I'm just coming down. I smoked seven grams of cocaine and had six hookers last night,' he repeats, louder, in case any of us have missed it.

Stranger continues with his newpaper. Silence falls.

'I'm the best film maker on this street. Too bad my wife has left me. Man, she was hot.' He points to Stranger. 'Now, if she was with you, I'd be impressed. You're rich. Not as rich as me. I have a Rolex that used to be owned by Frank Sinatra. I'm the best film maker on this street.'

Stranger folds his paper now, giving up. 'No, no, I'm not rich.'

'You are!' Posh Man protests. 'You have a Patek Philippe watch.'

At this, I have to steal a glance at Stranger's watch. I have only heard about Patek Philippe in Vogue, and even I know they're worth thousands of pounds.

Stranger doesn't deny it. He puts his paper under his arm and gets up. Silence descends again, until another couple nab the table where Posh Man is sitting. Posh Man looks their way.

'I smoked seven grams of cocaine and had six hookers last night,' he says, delighted to have a new audience.

And it goes on. The Man and I get up to leave, stifling our laughter.

'He's a nutter!' The Man says.

'But he looked so posh...'

'He's wearing a bow-tie,' The Man responds assuredly. 'The mad ones always wear bow-ties.'

Running and Writing

On my (almost) almost daily jog through the park last weekend, I couldn't help but think how similar writing is to running.

It's always a struggle for me to leave my warm flat and go out into the wind and rain. But once I have the gear on and I'm outside, I'm usually glad I've gone. There are some days I fly: my legs feel light and I could go on forever. Other times, though, I feel like lead and my chest burns. Sometimes it gets better as the run progresses, sometimes not. When other joggers burn by me, I often feel slow, slow, slooooooow.

It's the same as writing. My mind usually balks at the thought of getting into the chair, but once I've managed to maneuver myself into it (usually using the lure of the Internet) and I get down to the business of words on paper, I'm happy to be there. There are days when the words pour out. There are days when it's a struggle. And there are times when, comparing myself with other published writers, I wonder if I'll ever get there.

But the bottom line is this: I like to run. I love to write. But that doesn't necessarily mean it's easy.

Then again, who said it should be?

Help Me (x 100)!

The time has come to seek professional help. I want -- need -- to learn more about the process of novel writing. Writers' groups are great for feedback on individual passages, crit partners are good for overall feedback; paid readers are useful, too. But there comes a point (at least for me) where I need someone to tie it all together for me. I want to get better, and I need help.

So I'm applying to a part-time MA programme in Creative Writing at University College London (UCL). It's the best fit for me, as it focuses specifically on novel writing and it's only two nights a week. The aim, by the end of two years, is to have a novel of publishable standard. Along the way, there are talks by contemporary writers as well as agents. Sounds perfect!

One catch: there's only room for 12 to 14 people. When I heard that, I felt like banging my head against my desk and screaming: 'No! Please don't send me a rejection letter! That's the reason I'm applying - to have a chance at escaping the dreaded letter!'

But whatever the chances, I'm throwing my hat in the ring (rather than throwing myself out my office window...). Part of the application process is to write a personal statement: in 200 words, describe why the course would be beneficial to you. I was severely tempted to write Help Me! one hundred times. Surely that would convey just how much I wanted to be in the programme!

Stay tuned to see if I encounter rejection once more...

Let Their Bee Lite

Over at The Oatmeal, you can see some hilarious examples teaching the spelling (and meaning) of common problem words. My own pet peeve: it's versus its. People, please! Get it right!

Brainpower on Low

With 24 Hours Paris almost done (for now, anyway), I've been using the extra time to edit Novel Number 4, as I've blogged about previously. To be honest, a more fitting word would be 'slash and hack', as I've now axed over 20,000 words and I'm busily changing sentence structures and tense. It's exhausting, but reading back over the nine chapters I've managed to rework, it's getting there -- slowly.

That said, I don't have much to write today since my brain is tired of plodding through text, but I'll be back tomorrow with a Hidden London post. And keep watching this space for news of 24 Hours London and 24 Hours Paris iPhone applications, to be launched in the next few weeks!

Happy Friday!