Wednesday, November 4, 2009

24 Hours London - Midwesterner Edition

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6 a.m. Arrive at Heathrow. (Can you believe we’re in ENGLAND?!). A bit tired, but I just can’t sleep on planes, they just make me so nervous! I made my husband sit next to the weird man in our row on the plane (I don’t think he even spoke English! How is he going to make it over here?!) No paper towels in the bathroom, though. And how vulgar that they call it the Toilet. But did you see how the signs say “Way Out” instead of “Exit”? How cute!

7 a.m. Just got through customs and immigration! The officer seemed rather ornery if you ask me. Even when I tried to start up a nice conversation with him! I just think that’s so strange because everyone, even John and Sue, our friends who came to London last year, told us that everyone is just so nice! Well, he just must have woken up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. And can you believe it?! A stamp in my passport! Isn’t it just darling!

8 a.m. Whew! What a ride! Just arrived at our hotel in Piccadilly Circus (but I don’t see a circus?). We took one of those black cabs! Did you know that they drive on the wrong side of the road here?! I wonder how they do it! I just can’t imagine. I feel so English! Our friends that were here last year told us to avoid the subway at all costs because it’s so dirty. And it’s, well, you know, public transportation. We just don’t do that sort of thing. Oh and isn’t the hotel so quaint! promised us we wouldn’t even know that we weren’t in the States anymore! This building must be so old! Probably from like 1900 or something! How adorable!

9 a.m. We FINALLY got up to our room. Mind you, I called and emailed SEVERAL times to ensure an early check-in. I guess they just don’t know the meaning of customer service here. I’ll have to go back to Expedia and let them know exactly what I think of that. But our room does have a window! And you can see a statue! It must be somebody important! How cute!

10 a.m. We’ve rested for a bit and we’re ready to see the city! it’s a good thing our friends who were here last year told us to bring warm jackets! It’s so gray and rainy. You know, at this time of year at home it’s a little chilly but we always have sun. So we put on our Packers jackets (we LOVE the Packers!) and our tennies and we’re ready to go! I read in the guide book before we left that you should keep your valuables on your person in the big city (you never can trust hotel staff), so I bought this great fanny pack from Wal-mart before we left. It’s leather and everything! (I just love Wal-mart!). Besides, it’s a good thing we both have our Packers jackets so we can spot each other in a crowd in case we get separated.

11 a.m. Just starved! Thank God we found Mickey D’s! I made my hubby try it first to make sure it tastes the same. The last thing I need right now is weird food! It’s not quite the same, but I guess it will have to do. Even the cashier at McDonald’s had that accent! So adorable! Can you imagine! (Although I found her rather hard to understand. They claim to speak English here, but they use a lot of words that I don’t recognize so it can’t be English.)

12 p.m. Our friends who were here last year told us we just HAD to do the open bus tour! Although can you believe they wouldn’t take dollars?! And then they didn’t accept credit cards either?! We finally found an ATM (Can you believe they have those over here? Who knew?!). Isn’t this money funny looking! All different sizes and colors! How darling!

1 p.m. Finally got on the bus tour! Just delightful. Really wonderful! The guide even had an accent! We saw everything there was in the guidebook and how nice to be able to do so without having to do any more walking! And I’ll be darned! There really is a London Bridge! And it’s so cute with those two blue towers on each side!

2 p.m. Just starved again! All this walking can make a person hungry! We found this amazing, authentic pub called Wetherspoon’s! The food was so authentic, and it was so conveniently located right in the middle of everything. And I know it must be good, because there were a lot of people in there. Even lots of other Americans! I had the fish and chips and so did the hubby! Did you know that chips are really french fries! (I wonder if John and Sue knew that when they came here last year!) Just amazing!

2:30 p.m. Good thing we brought stomach medicine from home. I mean, who knows what kind of stuff they’re going to try to sell you here. We’re just not accustomed to this kind of food, you know.

3 p.m. We decided to get a bit crazy and just start walking! So many places to see! Lie-chester square! Totten-ham Court Road!

4 p.m. There is such great shopping around here! Everything you could want! Magnets with Big Ben, shirts that say “I Heart London”, I even got this great bag that has the flag on it and it says “London” across the front! I want to use it tomorrow but won’t that make me look like a tourist? I’m definitely going to pick up one of these cute scarves they have for my daughter. I don’t know what Manchester United is, but it must be English and her favorite color is red!

5 p.m. Oh my! I didn’t realize there would be so many people in England! Or so many cars! It makes it hard to take good pictures when people or busses keep getting in the way! How did John and Sue get so many good pictures?! Theirs were so cute!

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By Miss America England - An American in England

Can't you just visualise these tourists? Yikes. Right, up North for some more Canadian joy...


Nancy J. Parra said...

LOL- well, that wasn't me in London... even though I'm sure I was all tourist. *shakes head* What can I say- the bus drivers in NYC laugh at my midwestern ways. Thanks for posting!

nasir awan said...

Fashion as King is sometimes a very stupid ruler.

Deniz Bevan said...

Hilarious! I had so much fun reading this!