I'm In!

About a month ago, I posted about sending off my application for British Citizenship to the never-never land that is the Home Office. Advice on the Home Office website said it could be anywhere between three and six months before I heard anything, so I braced myself for the worst.

Saturday morning, I noticed a thin letter with a Liverpool post code in our front hallway. My heart sank. The Home Office was in Liverpool - they must be contacting me to tell me I've missed out something. I tore it open and out fell... an invitation to attend my citizenship ceremony on May 25! My application had been approved in just a month -- and I now declare May 25 to be my British Birthday.

I will never bad-mouth the Home Office again. (Not that I ever did in the first place, of course. I love you, Home Office, if you're reading this...). Just one request: can you please relocate my passport and driver's license, as they appear to be MIA?

Bring on the Yorkshire Pudding. Bring on the warm ale. I'm in, baby!

Most Loathed Britishisms

I should be full of fluff and light this close to Christmas, but I figure there's a lot of that around elsewhere so I thought I'd serve up a dose of negativity! Of course there are plenty of North Americanisms that I detest, too, but there are my top hated phrases/words on this side of the pond. Feel free to chime in with yours for either side of the Atlantic!

So in no particular order, here they are:

1. innit - I first encountered this lovely contraction of 'isn't it' when I was teaching at a comprehensive. It puzzled me at first, since it's usually not used in the meaning of 'isn't it.' For example: 'I didn't do my homework last night because the X-Factor was on, innit?'
Hunh?

2. 'I was stood there/ I was sat there' - Words cannot explain how much I hate hate HATE this commonly used construction. You hear it everywhere, from the telly to the radio to the teens in the street. For example: 'I was stood there waiting for the bus for half an hour.'
I don't care how frequently it's said; it's just not grammatically correct and it sounds terrible.

3. lurgy/ lurgi - This is a particularly horrible words used to describe a cold or flu-like illness. Apparently it originated from the BBC Radio Comedy The Goon Show. For some reason it puts me in mind of a zombie with a runny nose.

4. cossie/ pressie/ bessie friend - Why must everything be made diminutive? Swimming costume becomes 'cossie'; present 'pressie'. I cannot bring myself to utter these words.

5. anythink/ nothink - There's no 'k' on the end of 'anything' or 'nothing', so why do some people pronounce these words as if there is?

That's all for now, but I know there are others lurking on the fringes of my subconscious so I'll add to the list as they come forward.

Oh yes, and Merry Christmas everyone!

Weird British Things - Part Two

Thanks to all who commented on the last post! Karen had a good point -- sometimes it's better not to tell cabbies where you're going until you get in. That way, they have to take you.

And maybe mince pies are better with Devonshire clotted cream. I'm just not sure I'll ever find out.

Here are some more weird British things. Feel free to comment and let me know if it's just me, or if these things are indeed strange for most non-natives. (Last post on the weirdness, I promise!)

Toilets with a button on top - What is with that? I want a lever to flush, dammit. Not some button on the top.

Washing machines that open from the front - I find washing machines here, in general, so confusing. And don't get me started on the washer/dryer all-in-one combo!

Power outlets with on-off switches - I think this is a great idea. Plug it in, turn it on.

TV licenses - What, I have to pay to have a telly? And the funniest fact of all (discovered when I had to write the 'Life in the UK' test): if you're blind, you get 50 per cent off your license. What a deal!

Small, small fridges - I can't believe how big fridges are when I go back home.

Standing up in pubs - Please can we sit down? Why do I have to stand here awkwardly with my drink, even if there are chairs available?

The Art of Conversation

There's a great discussion over at Pond Parleys this week: Who's friendlier, Americans or Brits?

After interrogating many Brits at countless parties in an bid to get them to talk -- and then wondering why on earth they don't ask any questions back -- I'd have to say that overall, North Americans (I'm going to include Canada in this) are friendlier. Or at least chattier! I find it hard to let the 'awkward silence' lapse for too long and I always feel compelled to fill it in with a useless (and likely annoying) observation about the weather or such.

It is a mystery to me why people as erudite and articulate on everything from politics to philosophy seemingly have difficulties sharing anything personal other then 'I'm very well, thank you.'

Insert awkward pause here.

And that's all I have to say on that subject! And yes, I'm aware this whole post is a massive generalisation.