I'm going to be pathetic and preface this by saying I'm a bit 'written out'. I've started working on a new novel and editing another, and I'm feeling brain-dead. So if the writing exercise doesn't make sense, then just go with it!
This exercise, set by the lovely Nixy Valentine, was to go outside and sit for a moment or two. Then, write about something you didn't notice at first. My observations come courtesy of the Central Line on the London Underground, where you're never short of something to feast your eyes upon.
FINGER-LICKING GOOD
She stares vacantly at her fingers. Short brown hair cropped close to her head, trendy hand-bag, cool (but not cute) pink trainers - there's nothing to distinguish her from the surrounding commuters. Her hands clutches a tiny metal object. I hear the 'click' as it slices through her nail. The nail arcs into the air, falling amidst the rest of the train's rubbish. Then, slowly, she draws her fingertip into her mouth. Her tongue moves across the skin.
One nail down, nine to go!
12 comments:
Eww... that's ONE way to take advantage of your commuting time...
I know! It was disgusting. I just prayed I wouldn't be hit by a flying nail...
So, let me get this right... After clipping her nail, she filed it with her tongue? :)
Oh yes. You got that right! Gross, eh? I had to admire it, though, in a way...!
I agree with Criss- LOL- ewww!
This was gross, but wonderful in a way, from a writerly point of view. These are the perfect moments to capture in fiction. So small, but I couldn't help but react.
Well done, Marsha!
Add another eeeeww to the flock; the poor lamb needs some manners.
Makes me very glad I don't have to clean trains.
I have to admit to being left intrigued by someone who showed so little concern for social niceties, I wonder whether she just doesn't care at all or had so much on her mind she forgot where she was.
So, did she then go on to floss? ;)
Certainly a vivid piece of writing. Must not be too brain dead.
~jon
I loved this. Yes, it's disgusting, but it is such a perfect slice. And my guess is at some point in our lives we all do something this inappropriate in public. Probably multiple times. I hope the next time I do something this embarrassing, you aren't around to capture it perfectly.
I felt like I was on the underground with you. Great!
Despite the slightly gross factor--and maybe because of it--I think she's interesting. I want to know where she's going, and so on. That's the mark of good writing. You've captured my attention...
Wow! You said so much in so little space. Keep at it!
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